Back-to-School Tips for Parents

Parents have major role in their child's success!

 

School is in full swing and it is a very exciting time for children and parents. In the same breath, it can also be an anxiety-ridden and stressful time as well. Many kids today are facing staggering challenges such as learning disabilities- Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, processing and sensory issues; anxiety; depression; divorce; social issues; school phobia and the list gets longer and longer each school year.

The good news for parents is that no matter what issue you are dealing with, there is hope, help and support. Most importantly, parents should be aware and very familiar with the Pygmalion or Rosenthal Effect - the phenomenon in which the greater the expectation placed upon a child or adult, the better they perform. No matter what your child is dealing with, if you think they will succeed and take the necessary steps to ensure it, they will. They will only rise to the level that you are expecting them to.

A great example of this is Kyle Maynard, who was born a congenital amputee- his arms ending at his elbows; his legs at his knees. From the beginning, his parents focused on making his life as normal as possible and not treating him any different. His parents insisted that he learn how to take care of himself, just like any other normal child. In public places, they would encourage him to make eye contact with people and let them know he was just a normal kid despite his lack of arms and legs. In school, he wrestled, played football and now at 26 years old is an extremely successful motivational speaker, author, entrepreneur and athlete. His most recent accomplishment was being the 1^st man to climb on all fours 19,340 ft high to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa.

Your expectation of success as a parent for your child will determine their course in life and so will your actions. There are many common sense tips for parents to follow to ensure their kids? school success, such as a regular bed time, eating a healthy breakfast before school, doing homework as soon as they get home & then rewarding themselves with play time, prioritizing school before sports and other extracurricular activities. However, the most important tip is if you set the bar high, children will make it happen no matter what challenge they face. If you believe in them, they will believe in themselves. If you treat them as disabled, then you are indeed disabling their chance for a successful future.

There is nothing more important than parent involvement in a child?s school experience- checking their homework planner, overseeing projects & papers, helping them study for tests & quizzes and making the experience a positive one. Parenting is a verb, which means you need to be active and involved. If you don?t think education is important then neither will they. I know many adults who wish they took their education more serious and wish they went to college. Once you realize that your money-making potential is seriously limited without a college degree, school becomes a whole lot more important. Not many people like homework or any type of work for that matter, but it is a necessary evil.

By overseeing your child?s school assignments on a daily basis, not only are you showing that you love them and that school is important, you are setting them up for success in life. The habits they develop now will directly translate into their work habits and level of responsibility for future jobs and careers.

Celebrate good grades by having a straight-A or an honor roll party, hand out awards and make it fun. Display their success in a central location where everyone can see, which will be a visual motivator going forward.

As a parent, you have one chance to do your best. You have an 18 year window of opportunity to teach your child good habits until they go to college or move out. After that, you hope and pray you have done a good job. Your involvement and support now can make a huge life changing difference. If your child has an issue, then take action and get help immediately. Don?t stick your head in the sand, give up, or be embarrassed and deny the problem exists. There are so many wonderful cutting-edge counseling treatments and every problem has a solution. If you don?t see significant improvement within the first few months of counseling, then you are in the wrong place. Keep trying until you find a solution that works. Never give up. After all, if Kyle Maynard can climb to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, then the sky is the limit for your child!

 

Dari Dyrness-Olsen is a national speaker, author and owner of Express Yourself Today Counseling Center. She is a native of Roxbury.