Dr. Phil had a great show on today called "Mom Before Prom". If you missed it, be SURE to catch it as a re-run. For the last 10 years of my counseling career, I have specialized in Safe Dating. It truly amazes me how many pregnant teen girls I have dealt with in counseling - countless. This is a true reflection of the hard fact that the United States has the HIGHEST teen pregnancy rate in the industrialized world- 2 1/2 times higher than Canada and most of Europe. Why you ask? It is a combination of our society, media, lack of brain development in teens, and the lack of knowledge in teens when it comes to sex education and birth control. There is a big percentage of our country that promotes "Abstinence Only" education, which really means no education at all. As Dr. Phil says, "When you know better, you do better." We are doing these kids a grave injustice not teaching them what they need to know if they choose to have sex. We need to teach them how serious sex is and the consequences of sex. Lets give them all of the facts so they can make "educated decisions". Sex makes babies...that is all there is to it.
One of the girls who was interviewed on the show today was a cheerleader and moved in with her boyfriend at the age of 17 because she "FELT LIKE A GROWNUP". She eventually got pregnant- as all teens do who are having sex without birth control. She had to give up a college scholarship, her plans of joining a sorority, and all of her future hopes and dreams. A big part of the teen pregnancy problem in the U.S. is that everyone is in a big rush to grow up. They are buying into the 'FairyTale Theory" of "happily ever after", which clearly does not exist. If it did exist, we wouldn't have a divorce rate of over 50%. Even the very best marriages require hard work. There is nothing "fairytale-like" about marital relationships- you are sharing your life and your responsibilities with another person in REALITY not a fairytale fantasy.
Another one of the girls on the show said that she got pregnant because "she thought babies were really cute". She has since drastically changed her mind, now that she has been introduced to the reality of the situation. Dealing with reality is a big part of this problem. Not many people want to deal with reality. The reality of growing up is that we now have to be RESPONSIBLE. And being responsible is not as much fun as being a carefree kid. We have to get a job, pay bills, take care of our car, house, apartment, kids, pets, and the list goes on and on. When you are a kid, all you have to take care of is YOU and having fun.
So my advice to all of the young people out there without any big responsibilities yet is to CHERISH YOUR CAREFREE YOUTH and enjoy every minute of it. Don't be in a rush to grow up. Have SAFE SEX- use birth control. Being grown up and responsible is not as much fun as being a kid. You have the rest of your life to get married and have family responsibilities. Life is a journey not a destination...and I hope you enjoy every step of your journey!
In your Safety,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/
Author of "7 Secrets for Girls",
"Teen Talk for Parents" and
"Safe Dating for College Women".
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