Parents have major role in their child's success!
School is in full
swing and it is a very exciting time for children and parents. In the same breath, it can also be an
anxiety-ridden and stressful time as well.
Many kids today are facing staggering challenges such as learning
disabilities- Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity
Disorder, processing and sensory issues; anxiety; depression; divorce; social
issues; school phobia and the list gets longer and longer each school year.
The good news for
parents is that no matter what issue you are dealing with, there is hope, help
and support. Most importantly, parents
should be aware and very familiar with the Pygmalion or Rosenthal Effect - the
phenomenon in which the greater the expectation placed upon a child or adult,
the better they perform. No matter what
your child is dealing with, if you think they will succeed and take the
necessary steps to ensure it, they will.
They will only rise to the level that you are expecting them to.
A great example of
this is Kyle Maynard, who was born a congenital amputee- his arms ending at his
elbows; his legs at his knees. From the
beginning, his parents focused on making his life as normal as possible and not
treating him any different. His parents
insisted that he learn how to take care of himself, just like any other normal
child. In public places, they would
encourage him to make eye contact with people and let them know he was just a
normal kid despite his lack of arms and legs.
In school, he wrestled, played football and now at 26 years old is an
extremely successful motivational speaker, author, entrepreneur and
athlete. His most recent accomplishment
was being the 1st man to climb on all fours 19,340 ft high to the
summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa .
Your expectation of
success as a parent for your child will determine their course in life and so
will your actions. There are many common
sense tips for parents to follow to ensure their kids? school success, such as a
regular bed time, eating a healthy breakfast before school, doing homework as
soon as they get home & then rewarding themselves with play time,
prioritizing school before sports and other extracurricular activities. However, the most important tip is if you set
the bar high, children will make it happen no matter what challenge they face.
If you believe in them, they will
believe in themselves. If you treat them
as disabled, then you are indeed disabling their chance for a successful
future.
There is nothing
more important than parent involvement in a child?s school experience- checking
their homework planner, overseeing projects & papers, helping them study for
tests & quizzes and making the experience a positive one. Parenting is a verb, which means you need to
be active and involved. If you don?t
think education is important then neither will they. I know many adults who wish they took their
education more serious and wish they went to college. Once you realize that your money-making
potential is seriously limited without a college degree, school becomes a whole
lot more important. Not many people like
homework or any type of work for that matter, but it is a necessary evil.
By overseeing your child?s school assignments on a
daily basis, not only are you showing that you love them and that school is
important, you are setting them up for success in life. The habits they develop now will directly
translate into their work habits and level of responsibility for future jobs and
careers.
Celebrate good grades by having a straight-A or an honor roll party,
hand out awards and make it fun. Display
their success in a central location where everyone can see, which will be a
visual motivator going forward.
As a parent, you have one chance to do your best. You have an 18 year window of opportunity to
teach your child good habits until they go to college or move out. After that, you hope and pray you have done a
good job. Your involvement and support
now can make a huge life changing difference.
If your child has an issue, then take action and get help
immediately. Don?t stick your head in
the sand, give up, or be embarrassed and deny the problem exists. There are so many wonderful cutting-edge
counseling treatments and every problem has a solution. If you don?t see significant improvement
within the first few months of counseling, then you are in the wrong place. Keep trying until you find a solution that
works. Never give up. After all, if Kyle Maynard can climb to the
top of Mt.
Kilimanjaro
Dari Dyrness-Olsen is a national speaker, author and owner of Express
Yourself Today Counseling Center. She is
a native of Roxbury.
