Monday, March 14, 2011

Do YOU have a fairy tale relationship?

     Most young girls in America today are being raised to believe that they are beautiful fairy tale princesses waiting for their handsome prince charming to sweep them off their feet, ride off into the sunset, and live happily ever after.  To convince you even further, you read princess books, watch princess videos, play princess games, dress up in princess costumes, and play with princess dolls.  You can buy everything pretty in pink to become your own special princess.  Most girls spend their entire lives daydreaming about their wedding, wearing their princess dress, and starring in their own princess wedding video.
     After the wedding, WHACK...reality is quickly thrust upon you.  Shortly after the honeymoon, more often than not, the prince and princess realize that life is not quite the fairy tale they were brainwashed into believing.  They realize that they are two regular human beings trying to share a life together.  Most new marriages don’t make it past the 1st year.  If they do, after having a few kids, marital happiness usually declines even more because you have less time to spend together as a couple.  The younger you are when you get married, the higher the chance of divorce.  The REALITY is that the divorce rate is over 50%, so at least 1 out of every 2 marriages ends in divorce- not quite the “fairy tale ending” most people picture.
The moral of the story is that there is absolutely no reason to rush into a serious relationship.  There is so much more to life- ask anyone who has gone through a bad break up or divorce.  You have the rest of your life to get married and have kids.  Now is your time to focus on yourself and live your own life.  Marriage and relationships are hard work, even at their very best.  Yes, it can be romantic, but for the most part marriage consists of the rigors and stresses of daily life- making money, full-time jobs, child care, house & life responsibilities, and LOTS of teamwork.  I want to set you up for success, not failure.  Look around, I’m sure you know a lot of people who are divorced.  Every generation should be getting better and smarter than the one before.  So let's stop pretending that life is a fairy tale and start preparing for REALITY.  The divorce rate would surely decrease if people knew what to expect going into a serious relationship!  So what do you think?  I would love to hear your opinion!
Best wishes for relationship success,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
Author of 3 must-read books on Successful Dating! 

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