Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Love is not abuse

     Unfortunately, dating abuse has become the norm in society today.  Liz Claiborne did a study in 2009 that reported 1 in 3 teens is in an abusive dating relationship.  I know because I see it every day in the clients that I coach & counsel in my Safe Dating Program.  Sadly, the word "abuse" has a social stigma around it where no one wants to admit that they are actually being "abused" or even talk about it.  Relationships do NOT start off abusive- eventually the mean behaviors start rearing their ugly head and before you know it, you have found yourself in an unhealthy relationship.  This can happen to ANYONE.  Everyone can relate to finding yourself in a bad relationship at some point of their lives.  So I want to make it very simple for everyone who reads this blog.  Abuse is when your boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife is MEAN to you.  What I want you to know is that it is NOT YOUR FAULT!  Abuse can be verbal- where they say mean things, put you down, and make you feel bad about yourself, it can be emotional- where they make you feel like everything is your fault even though it is not, abuse can be digital- where they are texting or IM'g you constantly wondering where you are, what you are doing, who you are talking to, etc., abuse can be sexual- where they make you do sexual things that you don't want to & make you feel ashamed, abuse can also be financial- where they spend all of your money or make you give them all of your money, and of course abuse can be physical- where they physically harm you or manipulate you.  Abuse is all about power & control over you.  The longer you are in the relationship, the lower your self-esteem gets and the harder it is to get out of it.  But you CAN get out of it.  I have helped tons of people successfully get out of abusive relationships.  Please know that the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you break up.  You MUST have a SAFETY PLAN.  30% of girls & women in this country are murdered by boyfriends or husbands according to the FBI.  For more information about dating abuse go to http://www.safedatingcoach.com/.  To your safety- Dari

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