Giving ‘Presence’ this Holiday Season!
It is hard not to get caught up in the stress of endless holiday to-do lists: shopping, holiday cards, cleaning, decorating, wrapping, cooking and preparing. During the hustle and bustle, we often lose sight of the true meaning of the holidays we are celebrating, whether it is Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Christmas.
In Hebrew, the word "Hanukkah" means “dedication.” The name reminds us that this holiday commemorates the re-dedication of the holy Temple in Jerusalem
Kwanzaa is an African-American holiday celebrated mainly in America
The Christmas story is the story of the birth of Jesus Christ in the town of Bethlehem , Israel
Life is truly a gift, that is why it is called the present. I believe that the ultimate goal in life is to be ‘present’. To live in the moment and actually enjoy it, not fretting over the past or worried about the future. Not getting sucked up in the fast-paced current of life. Learning how to focus on the here and now. Our lives pass us by in the blink of an eye. Days turn into months, which quickly turn into years. Before you know it, you wake up one day and look yourself in the mirror and ask, “Where has the time gone?”
My gift to you this holiday season is to encourage you to stop for a few minutes…take a deep breath…and slow down. Get out a pad of paper and write down your ‘Bucket List’, which is all of the things you want to do before you kick the proverbial bucket. Now write down on top of a sheet of paper “I Want…” and keep writing until you can’t think of anything else. What do you want for your life? Are you living the life you thought you would? If not, how could you? What makes you happy? What makes you unhappy? What do you need in your life?
Make time to “stop and smell the roses” before they are gone. Stop trying to produce holidays that you barely remember until you develop your pictures. Learn how to be present for yourself, first and foremost, and then for those you love and care about. If you are religious, be present to your higher power, which is the reason you are celebrating the holiday in the first place.
Somehow we have veered off course and holidays have turned into a frenzy of expensive gift giving, consumerism and commercialism. The gifts are piled high up in front of the tree, only to be torn open, maybe appreciated, used temporarily, and forgotten about by the time the credit card bill arrives in January.
Try as we might, we can’t take our stuff with us when we go. Many people think the meaning of life is stuff. They keep acquiring all of these worldly possessions and are still not happy. Counseling clients say to me all of the time, “I will be happy when I get married, I will be happy when I have a baby, I will be happy when I buy a house.” But happiness eludes them because they are chasing it. The secret is to be happy right now and grateful for all of the wonderful things you already have.
Soul-filled moments and memories are the meaning of life, not rushing through our lives producing moments that we barely remember because we are so stressed out. It is easy to wrap up a gift and give it to someone. However, it is much more memorable and meaningful to slow down and give them the gift of your presence. Instead of exchanging gifts, go out to lunch, cook them a special meal, make a homemade gift or frame a special picture.
Instead of stuffing your stockings with gifts, stuff them with little promise notes like: Play a board game with mom, Read a book with dad, Bake brownies together, collect sea shells at the beach, etc. Time spent with those you love is priceless and so are the memories. Give the gift of your ‘Presence’ this holiday season and I promise it will be your best one yet!
All my best,
Dari
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
Owner of Express Yourself Today Counseling Center in New Jersey
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