Unfortunately, the media has a very narrow definition of what it means to be a young girl or woman in today's society. Sadly, I see the effects of this phenomenon every single day in my counseling office, whether it is with girls suffering in silence from depression, anxiety, eating disorders, cutting, low self-esteem, alcohol & drug addiction, dating abuse, or the "mean girl" syndrome.
Kids are constantly being bombarded by our oversexualized culture every where they turn and are being encouraged to grow up way too fast. Gone are the days of enjoying a carefree childhood and having innocent fun. Here are the days of being addicted to cell phones, computers, and video games, which has caused a huge DISCONNECT from themselves, developing social skills, and the ability to form face to face intimate connections instead of virtual relationships.
Movies, television, song lyrics, and video games trivialize sex and it's life altering consequences. Very rarely do they show unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, or abuse & violence. Kids are growing up thinking that relationships are fairy tales, until their fantasy inevitably meets reality.
Young girls are emulating pop stars whose hobbies are getting DUI's, making porn videos, and doing jail time. And even worse are the parents vicariously living through their kids and encouraging them to "date" at ridiculously young ages to fit in and be popular. Kids today have unlimited material stuff to fill their lives, yet they are emptier and unhappier than ever before turning to drugs & alcohol in epoch proportions to fill their empty void.
The result of this slippery slope is a whole generation of young women who no longer need to be oppressed by the male race because they are OPPRESSING themselves without even realizing it. If you have ever watched the spring break videos "Girls Gone Wild" then you know exactly what I'm talking about. In my opinion, we are undoing what the fearless leaders of the WOMEN'S MOVEMENT fought long & hard for- equal rights with men, equal pay, the right to use birth control, the right to go to college, and the right to vote. Not so long ago, the only choices for women were becoming teachers, secretaries, or homemakers.
Most girls today are treating themselves as nothing more than sex objects, who want to look "hot" for guys. What they buy, wear, and how they look on the outside is much more important than their moral character, intelligence, personality, hopes, dreams & life purpose. Most teens & tweens (not all) value social over academic any day of the week.
FaceBook allows girls to constantly invade each other's personal life and spend the majority of their waking hours competing and fighting against each other for the attention and approval of boys, instead of focusing on their own personal development, their academics, and their futures. Little do they know that life isn't a fantasy and that reality & relationships are hard work with over a 50% chance of divorce.
The internet has provided a culture with no sexual boundaries and our kids are its victims and sadly no one is talking about it. 1 out of 4 kids are sexually abused by the time they are 18 years old and internet pornography addiction is at an all time high. The other day I was reading a local article about a 24 year-old guy who convinced both girls he was dating to videotape themselves performing sexual acts on their own children. Now all 3 adults will probably spend the rest of their lives in prison.
My goal is to help create a whole new generation of self-confident women, who will lead healthy & happy lives without prioritizing their dating relationships over themselves. They will no longer base their self-esteem on their "guy du jour". Their first priority is going to be the relationship they have with themselves. The young women of today are the bright future of our world. Every time they respect and honor themselves & their bodies, they are respecting and honoring every woman of the world.
We, as women, are so much more than our physical bodies. We have intelligent minds, dynamic voices, strong spirits, and a powerful purpose. Let's do our daughters, granddaughters, and ourselves a favor by torching this "fairy tale fantasy" and blazing a trail for them to succeed in reality!
All my best,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/
http://www.expressyourselftoday.com/
Author of 3 must-read books-
7 Secrets for Girls
Teen Talk for Parents
Safe Dating for College Women
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