Do YOU know the #1 way to prevent date rape in college?

Are YOU partying safe as a college woman?

Your college experience is supposed to be about learning, pursuing a future career, and having FUN! For many women, college is the first time spent away from the close watchful eyes of parents, friends, and family. This is your chance to step out of your comfort zone and experience new things.  When it comes to having fun, the buddy system is an absolute must to keep you safe.  There is always safety in numbers.  Go out as a group or at least with one other friend with the understanding that you will watch out for each other.  As women, we should be watching out for all other women.  We have to stick together- even if you are not “friends” with someone.  If you see or even hear about something that should not be going on, you should do whatever you can to stop it or report it immediately.  When people don’t report things, it allows it to continue.   

Unfortunately, just being a woman puts you at risk and makes you vulnerable.  The Centers for Disease Control report that about 1 in 4 college women is at risk to be date raped.  There are a lot of sick guys out there that get off on drugging girls and date raping them.  I absolutely don’t want that to happen to you.  Never ever go out or to a party alone!!!  Everyone wants to think that it won’t happen to them, but it does.  Just ask a woman who has been raped.  Going out alone makes you an instant target and puts you in immediate danger.  If something happens, there will be no one there to help you or protect you. 

College Party Rules:

·         Be safe & have LOTS of fun! J

·         Always charge your cell  phone before you go out. (A cell phone is no good unless it works!)

·         Carry pepper spray & know how to use it.  (Better to be safe than sorry.)

·         Put a whistle on your key chain that you can blow if someone attacks you.

·         Never go out or to a social function alone.

·         Never leave alone. If you arrive with friends, stay with them, and leave with them.

·         Always watch out for each other- all women must stick together!

·         At night, do not walk alone- call campus security to escort you to wherever you need to go.

·         At night, walk in well-lit areas & don’t wear earphones or talk/text on your cell phone.

·         Do not go outside in public with an open container of alcohol.

·         Do not drive or ride your bike while intoxicated (you can get a DUI or a BUI).

·         Be quiet & respectful of the community around you.

·         Call 911 if you feel like you or someone else is in danger

Please support the work that I do on FACEBOOK with keeping girls & women safe by clicking on the link below & "LIKE" my facebook page for America's Safe Dating Coach.  Thanks so much....I really appreciate it!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Americas-Safe-Dating-Coach/184015558275256

Best wishes for staying safe & having fun!
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
Celebrity Author, National Speaker,  Licensed Professional Counselor
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/

The Profile of Who Date Rapes in College!

There are a lot of personality characteristics that contribute to date rape in college or anywhere for that matter.  Some guys falsely believe that they should be the “aggressor” and the woman should be “passive”.  He might want to “dominate” you or always be in charge.  A guy might think that you are playing hard to get and that “no” really means “yes”.  Miscommunication often happens between guys and girls, especially when it comes to sex.

Guys who commit date rape:

·         Don’t respect your personal space and get way too close and/or touch your body. (Very touchy feely)

·         Don’t listen to you, talk over you, ignore you, and don’t respect what you say or think.

·         Don’t have respect for women in general.

·         Don’t really like women.

·         Don’t like or respect their own mother.

·         Express anger & hostility towards women.

·         Use guilt or make you feel uptight if you resist them sexually.

·         Don’t respect what you want or how you feel.

·         Excessively jealous, possessive, and controlling.

·         Have traditional views of women & men- “Women are there to serve men”.

·         Think of women as “possessions”, “property”, and “sex objects” not human beings.

·         Abuse drugs & alcohol and don’t know their limit.

·         Turn into a “nasty drunk” who can become violent, angry, and sexually aggressive if he doesn’t get his way.

·         Accuse you of cheating or flirting.

·         Likes to be in charge and make all of the decisions- where to go, what to do, etc.

·         Feels very entitled to get what he wants when he wants.

Anyone can turn into a date rapist, even a really nice guy.  However, these are definitely the warning signals to watch out for.  The most important thing to remember is to never go anywhere alone with a guy and no means no!

If you liked what you read so far...click on the link below to get more life-saving information:

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In your Safety,

Dari Dyrness-Olsen

http://www.safedatingcoach.com/

How to Prevent Date Rape for College Women!

As women, you are taught to watch out for stranger danger, when you should also be watching out for people you know.  According to the Centers for Disease Control, 20-25% of college women have reported experiencing an attempted or a completed rape. (www.cdc.gov)  Date rape is the highest unreported crime on college campuses & freshmen are at the highest risk within the first few weeks of school.  Date rape is when someone you know forces you to have unwanted sexual contact, which can be vaginal, oral, or anal.  Date rape is “non-consensual” sexual contact, which means that you did not say YES.  A date rape victim is unable to consent when they are under age or have diminished mental capacity- which can mean a victim who is drugged, drunk, high, unconscious, or has a developmental disability.  A rapist can be your boyfriend, fiancé, friend, acquaintance, classmate, professor, coworker, boss, family member, neighbor, or a complete stranger.  You have the right to say NO, even if you have had consensual sex with this person before.  No one is ever entitled to have sexual contact with you WITHOUT your consent.  Even if you are drinking alcohol and under 21 years old, it is still considered illegal rape.

What most women don’t realize is that most rapes are committed by people that the victim knows.  Date rape is NEVER your fault- even if you were drinking, drugged, flirting, or leading a guy on.  Date rape is an illegal crime, as well as unwanted sexual touching and sexual harassment.  If you or someone you know has been raped, please report it not only to the campus police, but to the local police as well.  If you don’t report it, then it allows the person to keep raping other women.  It also makes the rapist think that he got away with it once, so he can do it again.  My goal is to create a world where date rape is not tolerated or accepted and I need your help.  The first step is becoming an advocate for change and reporting the date rape.

There are a lot of twisted guys on college campuses who get off on drugging girls and raping them.  Drug-assisted rape is a big problem on college campuses today.  Date rape drugs can be GHB (liquid ectasy), Rohypnol (Roofies), and Ketamine (Special K).  These drugs can be put into your drink without you even knowing it because they are odorless, colorless, and tasteless.  They are usually crushed into a powder and added to your alcoholic or nonalcoholic drink.   Common effects of date rape drugs are drowsiness, dizziness, paralysis, confusion, nausea, hallucinations, sense of euphoria, delayed reaction time, blurred vision, blackouts, memory loss, induced coma, and even death.  A drugged victim is completely helpless against a rapist.

It is critical that any investigation into the suspected use of date rape drugs involve an immediate urine test and possible blood test because these drugs are quickly metabolized and eliminated by the body.  Companies around the world are making or trying to make paper coasters or test strips that change color when dabbed with a drink containing a date rape drug.

Tips to prevent being drugged & raped:

• Always go out with a group of friends, stay together & leave together.
• All women need to watch out for each other.
• Never leave alone- call campus security to escort you.
• Do not accept drinks that you did not open or make yourself.
• If beer is being poured out of a keg, make sure you see it being poured & passed to you.
• Never let your drink out of your sight.
• Don’t share drinks with anyone.
• Never leave your drink- even bring it to the bathroom with you.
• If your drink tastes funny, throw it away.  Date rape drugs can taste salty and have excessive foam or residue.
• If you feel “weird” after having a drink, stop drinking immediately and have a friend bring you to the local hospital to be blood tested or dial 911 for an ambulance.  Better to be safe than sorry.

If you liked this, you can read more at.....

http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/Search.aspx?kw=safe%20dating%20for%20college%20women&typ=Title

To your safety,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/

GIRLS ENCOURAGED TO BE SEXY WAY TOO SOON...

     Unfortunately, the media has a very narrow definition of what it means to be a young girl or woman in today's society.  Sadly, I see the effects of this phenomenon every single day in my counseling office, whether it is with girls suffering in silence from depression, anxiety, eating disorders, cutting, low self-esteem, alcohol & drug addiction, dating abuse, or the "mean girl" syndrome. 
     Kids are constantly being bombarded by our oversexualized culture every where they turn and are being encouraged to grow up way too fast.  Gone are the days of enjoying a carefree childhood and having innocent fun.  Here are the days of being addicted to cell phones, computers, and video games, which has caused a huge DISCONNECT from themselves, developing social skills, and the ability to form face to face intimate connections instead of virtual relationships.    
     Movies, television, song lyrics, and video games trivialize sex and it's life altering consequences.  Very rarely do they show unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, or abuse & violence.  Kids are growing up thinking that relationships are fairy tales, until their fantasy inevitably meets reality.
     Young girls are emulating pop stars whose hobbies are getting DUI's, making porn videos, and doing jail time.   And even worse are the parents vicariously living through their kids and encouraging them to "date" at ridiculously young ages to fit in and be popular.  Kids today have unlimited material stuff to fill their lives, yet they are emptier and unhappier than ever before turning to drugs & alcohol in epoch proportions to fill their empty void. 
     The result of  this slippery slope is a whole generation of young women who no longer need to be oppressed by the male race because they are OPPRESSING themselves without even realizing it.  If you have ever watched the spring break videos "Girls Gone Wild" then you know exactly what I'm talking about.  In my opinion, we are undoing what the fearless leaders of the WOMEN'S MOVEMENT fought long & hard for- equal rights with men, equal pay, the right to use birth control, the right to go to college, and the right to vote.  Not so long ago, the only choices for women were becoming teachers, secretaries, or homemakers. 
     Most girls today are treating themselves as nothing more than sex objects, who want to look "hot" for guys.  What they buy, wear, and how they look on the outside is much more important than their moral character, intelligence, personality, hopes, dreams & life purpose.  Most teens & tweens (not all) value social over academic any day of the week.
         FaceBook allows girls to constantly invade each other's personal life and spend the majority of their waking hours competing and fighting against each other for the attention and approval of boys, instead of focusing on their own personal development, their academics, and their futures.  Little do they know that life isn't a fantasy and that reality & relationships are hard work with over a 50% chance of divorce. 
      The internet has provided a culture with no sexual boundaries and our kids are its victims and sadly no one is talking about it.  1 out of 4 kids are sexually abused by the time they are 18 years old and internet pornography addiction is at an all time high.  The other day I was reading a local article about a 24 year-old guy who convinced both girls he was dating to videotape themselves performing sexual acts on their own children.  Now all 3 adults will probably spend the rest of their lives in prison. 
     My goal is to help create a whole new generation of self-confident women, who will lead healthy & happy lives without prioritizing their dating relationships over themselves.  They will no longer base their self-esteem on their "guy du jour".  Their first priority is going to be the relationship they have with themselves.  The young women of today are the bright future of our world.  Every time they respect and honor themselves & their bodies, they are respecting and honoring every woman of the world.
     We, as women, are so much more than our physical bodies.  We have intelligent minds, dynamic voices, strong spirits, and a powerful purpose.  Let's do our daughters, granddaughters, and ourselves a favor by torching this "fairy tale fantasy" and blazing a trail for them to succeed in reality!
All my best,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/
http://www.expressyourselftoday.com/
Author of 3 must-read books-
7 Secrets for Girls
Teen Talk for Parents
Safe Dating for College Women

Who is America's Safe Dating Coach?