Thursday, February 17, 2011

Lady Gaga speaks out about SAFE SEX!

     Lady Gaga had an amazing interview today on Good Morning America!  I applaud her efforts on raising awareness for SAFE SEX and AIDS prevention.  She urges parents to have open communication with their kids about the importance of safe sex and using contraception if they are sexually active.  Sadly, kids are starting to date in 4th & 5th grades, so the younger you start these conversations the better. 
     Gaga arrived at the Grammy awards in an egg after "incubating" for 3 days straight.  When asked why, she gave AMAZING advice that everyone should spend 3 days alone with themselves and their thoughts.  Instead of looking outward for love & guidance, we should turn inward.  She repeated several times that we should learn to LOVE ourselves and RESPECT ourselves.  I couldn't agree with Gaga more.  The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.  If you don't love & respect yourself, then no one else will love and respect you. 
     Congratulations Lady Gaga & THANK YOU for using your platform to raise awareness about the DANGERS of sex and the importance of being responsible if you are sexually active.  And for all of you parents out there, please please please start talking to your kids about healthy relationships and safe sex today.  Thank you for reading my blog and please feel free to share it with other people you think might be interested!

In your safety,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/

Copyright 2011 ~ All rights reserved.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Are you in a GREAT relationship? Take the test!

1- Does the person you love treat you with RESPECT all of the time?  Yes/No
2- Are they nice to you all of the time?  Yes/No
3- Do they support your goals & dreams? Yes/No
4- Do they make you feel good about yourself? Yes/No
5- Are they romantic? Yes/No
6- Are they honest? Yes/No
7- Are you friends, as well as lovers? Yes/No
8- Do you like the person they are? Yes/No
9- Do they treat the other people in their life with respect? Yes/No
10- Do they encourage you to hang out with your friends, family, and have LOTS of other interests & activities besides them?  Yes/No

If you answered YES to all of the questions above, CONGRATULATIONS... you are in a GREAT relationship! 
1 "No" = 90% Almost a perfect score for a GREAT relationship!
2= 80% Better take a close look at who you are in love with!
3=70% Could be the wrong person?!
4=60% Don't settle for less...you deserve to be loved & treated with respect!
5=50% Forget this relationship & move on!

Life is too short not to have a GREAT relationship!  If you want to learn how, log onto http://www.safedatingcoach.com/
All my best,
Dari
xoxo

Copyright 2011- All rights reserved Dari Dyrness-Olsen.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Kaity Marie Sudberry Story

     Kaity Marie Sudberry was the victim of a violent relationship in the worst way.  On January 28, 2008, her ex-boyfriend, Daniel Byrd, murdered her in cold blood in the light of day as she was on her way home from school.  Kaity was a 17 year-old Senior at Moon Valley High School in Phoenix, Arizona.  She was accepted to NAU to study Wildlife Sciences.  She had her whole life ahead of her, yet fell victim to the selfish and violent act of another.
     Kaity's family has learned a lot from this experience and wants to do what they can in Kaity's name to help avoid this kind of tragedy from happening to any other family or individual.  Anyone who knew Kaity will attest to the fact that she was one of Patience, Empathy, Acceptance, Caring, and Equality.  Kaity was a loving individual that only wanted the best for herself and others.  She was there when someone needed an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or just be there for company.  She was a silly girl that had a zest for life and even though she was soft spoken she was heard when she spoke.  For more information about Kaity's Story and the wonderful work of her family log onto http://www.kaitysway.org/ .
In your Safety,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen, MA, LPC
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/




Wednesday, February 2, 2011

National Teen Dating Abuse Awareness and Prevention Month

     President Obama officially declared February 2011 as "National Teen Dating Abuse Awareness & Prevention Month"!  1 in 3 teens will be in an abusive dating relationship by the end of high school and 20-25% of college women will experience attempted or completed rape during college.  Dating violence has become a national health crisis and is infecting our country at alarming rates. 
     What can you do as a parent?
The most important thing you can do as a parent is to talk to your child about what a healthy relationship is and is not.  You should be closely monitoring your child's dating relationship- periodically checking their FB page, text messages, and e-mails to make sure that they are being treated nicely.  No one should EVER be mean to you, tell you what to do, what to wear, and who to hang out with.  No one should ever text you a million times a day trying to control and know your every move.  No one should ever physically harm you, sexually make you do things you do NOT want to do, or verbally say mean things to you like "You are fat, no one would ever want you besides me, you're a slut, etc".  A big RED FLAG for parents that your child is in an abusive dating relationship is when they stop hanging out with their friends & family, they stop doing things they once loved- sports, hobbies, activities, and they start spending ALL of their time with their boyfriend or girlfriend or constantly texting/talking on the phone/computer.  Another big RED FLAG for parents is when they fight with their boyfriend/girlfriend all of the time and are crying or upset more often than not.
     What can kids do?
If you find yourself or your friend in an abusive dating relationship, then you need to tell someone immediately.  No one deserves to be treated badly.  That is NOT love.  When you are in a healthy relationship the other person is always nice to you and treats you with respect.  They are NEVER mean and they NEVER say mean things and make you feel bad.  A good person to talk to is a parent, guidance counselor, or relative.  The most important thing you can ever learn is how to have healthy relationships, whether it is with yourself, your family, friends, or boyfriends and girlfriends.  Relationships are the foundation of our lives.
     I hope you will take some time this month and TALK about TEEN DATING ABUSE.  Education is the key to prevention.  Everyone deserves to be in a healthy & happy relationship! xoxo

***Have you read "TEEN TALK FOR PARENTS", "7 SECRETS FOR GIRLS", or "SAFE DATING FOR COLLEGE WOMEN"?  Do you know the RIGHT way to handle these important issues?  Get your copy today at http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/ and find out how to protect your children or yourself!
In your safety,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/



 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Speaking to the NJ Senate about the SAFE DATING LAW S2114!

     What an incredible day I had yesterday on Monday, January 31, 2011!  I had the opportunity to testify to the New Jersey Senate Education Committee about S2114 the SAFE DATING LAW.  After I spoke, S2114 passed UNANIMOUSLY.  What a great day for NJ!
     The Safe Dating Law S2114/A2920 will require all public middle schools and high schools to add SAFE DATING to their annual health curriculum and to establish a dating abuse policy for the district.  Liz Claiborne and Love is Not Abuse http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/ have developed a FREE curriculum and a FREE online staff training for schools to use that is topnotch.    
     I proposed this new law to local NJ legislators last May 2010 after Yeardley Love was brutally murdered by her boyfriend at the University of Virginia.  30% of girls and women who are murdered in this country are killed by their boyfriends, husbands or exes according to the FBI.
     Liz Claiborne did a study in 2009 finding that 1 in 3 teens will be in an abusive dating relationship before the end of high school.  Dating abuse has definitely become a national health crisis and sadly it eventually turns into domestic violence, which costs our federal government over 8 billion dollars every single year.
     For the last 10 years of my counseling career, I have specialized in Safe Dating Education, dating abuse, and date rape counseling.  I have also written 3 books on Safe Dating - 7 Secrets for Girls, Teen Talk for Parents, and Safe Dating for College Women, which are a MUST-READ for all girls & parents and available at http://www.buybooksontheweb.com/ or in local bookstores. 
     I have found through my specialized counseling work that most kids do not even know when they are being abused or being abusive because it has slowly become the societal norm.  Unfortunately, kids are starting to date in 4th and 5th grades (which is very DANGEROUS) and digital technology has escalated the amounts of abuse I am seeing at my counseling center Express Yourself Today http://www.expressyourselftoday.com/ .  The SAFE DATING LAW will quickly change this lack of knowledge about unhealthy relationships for the better. 
     I started educating about dating abuse because I wanted to be PROACTIVE instead of reactive.  I travel across the country educating kids, parents, and school officials about the importance of Safe Dating.  The goal of the SAFE DATING LAW is to stop dating violence before it even begins.  There is nothing more important in life than learning how to have a healthy relationship with yourself, your family, friends, and intimate partners.  Relationships are the foundation of our lives. 
     S2114/A2920 the SAFE DATING LAW is definitely a win-win for New Jersey and I believe it will motivate and set the standard for the rest of our country to educate and protect all children from the dangers of dating abuse!
In your Safety,
Dari Dyrness-Olsen
http://www.safedatingcoach.com/